Chapter 181: Rewarding Oneself

"Shall I get you something to eat?" Song Chenyi asked, weighing his words carefully.

"I'm not hungry," Luo Yixia shook her head.

"Be a good girl," Song Chenyi coaxed gently.

Sitting off to the side in the cafeteria, Luo Yixia was first given two doses of glucose to drink by Song Chenyi, and finally ended up having two hard-boiled eggs and a bottle of milk firmly pushed upon her.

Luo Yixia's mental state was far from good.

"I'll take you somewhere to rest."

"Aren't we going home?" Luo Yixia lifted her eyelids to look at him. Her normally vibrant eyes were devoid of light at the moment.

"We aren't going back." Song Chenyi looked at her with a heart full of distress—the kind of ache that made one's chest tighten.

In the end, he booked a room at a nearby hotel.

"Do you want to get some rest?" Song Chenyi watched her exhausted demeanor.

"I want to take a shower."

"Alright."

Luo Yixia entered the bathroom and closed the door. The sound of running water began to rush.

Luo Yixia had already stripped off the clothes Song Chenyi had lent her. The hem of the white woolen sweater inside was stained with a trace of dried blood.

Luo Yixia found that bloodstain blindingly harsh.

She closed her eyes tightly. When she opened them again, she saw that her water-drenched hands had turned a bloody crimson, and all the water had transformed into blood.

Before her eyes, the image of Yan Yan covered in blood kept replaying, along with the painful expression she had seen on Yan Yan's face at the very end.

In an instant, her mind shattered. Her body shook uncontrollably as she turned on the faucet and scrubbed her hands frantically, yet no matter how hard she washed, she couldn't get them clean.

What should she do?

Yan Yan...

The agonizing groans in the emergency room, the people covered in blood...

It was as if Luo Yixia had witnessed the car crash with her own eyes—she saw the violent collision, the blood pooling on the ground, converging into a winding stream...

She saw a mother using her body to shield her child at the moment of impact, the child's crying, and countless cries for help.

All of this relentlessly flooded Luo Yixia's consciousness...

Ten minutes later, a knock on the door outside interrupted Luo Yixia's descent into darkness. She finally snapped back to reality, realizing her hands were perfectly clean, merely glowing red from the relentless scrubbing. She wasn't even an eyewitness to the accident; she didn't know how the crash had actually unfolded.

"Xiahua, open the door. I brought you your pajamas."

Luo Yixia opened a crack in the door, reached out her hand to take the pajamas, and then shut the door firmly once more.

Ever since he saw her that morning, Song Chenyi had felt that something was profoundly wrong with her—she was completely out of it, while she herself seemed entirely oblivious to it.

Luo Yixia changed into a clean set of clothes and walked out.

Song Chenyi had been waiting right outside the bathroom the entire time.

He had kept his attention fixed on the sounds inside. Seeing that nearly half an hour had passed and Luo Yixia still hadn't opened the door, he was just about to force his way in.

Luo Yixia walked out and gave him a faint glance.

"I'm sleepy." Leaving behind just those words, she burrowed straight under the covers.

Song Chenyi, feeling uncomfortable with the grime on his own body, took a quick shower in the bathroom and climbed into bed on tiptoe.

He gently wrapped his arms around her from behind.

In an instant, Luo Yixia's entire body stiffened, remaining rigidly locked.

Song Chenyi could clearly feel how icy cold her body was.

Luo Yixia did not move at all, her frame remaining tense.

Then, a soft sigh came from behind her, and Song Chenyi loosened his hold.

The breath he had been holding in check was finally released.

Her previously shut eyes flew open again, still entirely devoid of luster, like a soul that had detached from its body.

Yet soon after, she was pulled once more into a warm embrace. The embrace was so warm that, for a fleeting moment, she felt a trace of longing.

Her back pressed against his broad chest, and their hearts were so close that they could almost feel each other's heartbeats.

"Xiahua... I'm sorry."

Luo Yixia closed her eyes tightly, biting down on her lip to keep herself from making the slightest sound.

"I know you're not asleep..."

"I shouldn't have brought you here. Last night... I was too panicked at the time and didn't consider your feelings... I'm sorry."

Song Chenyi murmured in broken sentences from behind her.

Luo Yixia desperately wanted to say: *It has nothing to do with you. You only did what you were supposed to do. It's just me... it's just that my mental endurance is too poor, that I'm useless. I'm just angry at myself for being so incompetent, for not even being able to take care of a little child.*

Yet she didn't know how to voice the words.

"Xiahua... please don't blame yourself, alright? Xiahua... you've already done wonderfully. You did better than I did... Xiahua... I can't bear to see you like this. It breaks my heart..."

Song Chenyi's words were jumbled, but Luo Yixia understood his meaning entirely.

She felt as though her heart was blocked up, aching with a sour, painful misery.

Song Chenyi buried his head in the crook of Luo Yixia's neck, whispering her name over and over again.

Each repetition felt like a gentle scratch at her heart and her thoughts, until, in that moment, her mind and vision seemed once more to hold only him.

"Let's sleep." Luo Yixia reached out, pressed her hand over his hand resting on her waist, and held it tightly.

"Alright." Hearing her response, Song Chenyi let out a sigh of relief and answered immediately.

The arms holding her tightened, as if he wanted to brand her into his very body and blood.

Luo Yixia had no idea when she woke up, but both her body and mind felt significantly more relaxed. The nerves that had been stretched taut all night finally found proper relief.

Song Chenyi was sleeping beside her as well.

At some point, Luo Yixia had buried her entire self in his embrace—likely a primal, instinctive reaction of her body.

He had stayed awake the entire night before as well. He had been even more anxious than she was, and far more exhausted.

Luo Yixia wanted to hold him closer, so she nestled deeper into his arms once again, wrapping her arms around his back.

Song Chenyi immediately reached out to hold her in return.

Feeling his movement, Luo Yixia remained still, only hugging him with an even more unrestrained and desperate warmth.

After a long while, Luo Yixia finally felt satisfied and lifted her small face.

After a good sleep, her complexion had improved immensely.

At that moment, Song Chenyi lowered his gaze to look at her.

"Did you sleep well?" Luo Yixia asked softly.

"I did."

"I'm hungry," Luo Yixia said instantly, putting on a pitiful expression.

"Mm... I'm hungry too..." Song Chenyi murmured thoughtfully.

"Then let's get up and eat." Luo Yixia eagerly loosened her grip and made to climb up, only to be yanked right back into his arms by Song Chenyi.

Her eyes filled with utter bewilderment.

"We don't need to go to that trouble..."

"???"

"I've been starving for half a month..." Song Chenyi's expression turned somewhat restrained as he leaned in closer to Luo Yixia.

"???" Had he not eaten for half a month?

Just as the words were about to slip past her lips, understanding seemed to dawn on her.

Her initially pale cheeks instantly blossomed with a deep, radiant crimson.

"I'm hungry... I want to eat meals," Luo Yixia pushed against his chest.

Song Chenyi caught her small hand with a reverse grip and brought it to his lips to kiss.

"Shall I feed you first... and then reward myself?"

Luo Yixia blinked her bewildered, wide eyes and finally nodded.

Song Chenyi pressed a kiss to her forehead before finally sitting up.

Song Chenyi called room service for the hotel.

For once, the two of them shared a rare moment of tacit understanding, lingering lazily in bed and refusing to get up.

Luo Yixia had even grown lazy enough to let Song Chenyi feed her every bite. The feeling of being completely useless felt genuinely wonderful...

Luo Yixia thought to herself, though she certainly had no intention of letting Song Chenyi find out about that thought.

Once she was well-fed and content, Song Chenyi finally took a couple of bites for himself.

Scarcely a few minutes after Luo Yixia had burrowed back beneath the warm covers, she was caught by Song Chenyi.

"You need to exercise after a meal, or you'll have indigestion."

"I just ate my fill; I can't do strenuous exercise..."

"It won't be strenuous. I'll be gentle..."

"It's daytime right now..."

"We'll draw the curtains and turn off the lights. Day and night won't matter."

"Let's wait until tonight... Mmm..."

Song Chenyi gave Luo Yixia no further chance to speak.

Worn out by the ordeal, Luo Yixia drifted off into a deep, exhausted slumber once more. As her eyes drifted closed, her mind kept screaming in protest: *Where was that gentle? Where was that not strenuous?*

It was nothing short of a devastating, catastrophic flattening—far too agonizing...

When she woke up again, it was already midnight. Having slept the entire day, Luo Yixia felt full of vigor and immensely comfortable.

Song Chenyi was sitting to one side looking at his phone. Seeing her wake up, he put the device aside.

"Are you thirsty?"

She hadn't felt thirsty initially, but seeing Song Chenyi "taking care" of her brought an inexplicable surge of happiness, and she nodded immediately.

Song Chenyi poured a glass of water and handed it to her.

However, Luo Yixia made no move, signaling with her eyes for him to feed her.

A fond, indulgent smile touched Song Chenyi's lips. He propped her up and carefully fed her the water from behind. After taking a couple of sips, Luo Yixia drank no more.

"Going back to sleep?" Song Chenyi set the cup down.

"I can't sleep anymore. I want you to hold me," Luo Yixia burrowed into his arms.

"Alright."

Song Chenyi gathered her into his embrace. Luo Yixia rested against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, yet somehow it felt unreal.

"Tell me, if I turned into someone completely useless, would you still be willing to take care of me forever?" she suddenly asked aloud.

Song Chenyi didn't hesitate for a second before firing back: "Would you ever become useless with me around? Even if you did, it would be because I spoiled you. What can I do when it's something I spoiled myself? I'll just have to keep doting on you."

Luo Yixia was thoroughly satisfied upon hearing his answer.

"Tomorrow, I want to go see Yan Yan." After a long silence, Luo Yixia spoke up, her tone turning solemn.

"Yan Yan is fine. I asked a colleague this afternoon; he woke up this morning and kept asking where you went. As for his parents, they're both out of danger now, and his mother woke up during the day."

As if he knew what she wanted to ask, Song Chenyi told her everything she wanted to know before she even had the chance to voice it.

"That's good."

"I'll take you to see Yan Yan tomorrow morning. Don't worry, nobody blames you. On the contrary, you did a wonderful job. One of the most severely injured victims from last night's crash was even saved because of the blood you donated." Song Chenyi stroked her hair, smoothing it down stroke by stroke.

"As long as they're alright."

Hearing that they were safe, Luo Yixia finally felt at peace...

Yet a new thought was quietly sprouting in her mind... and it was growing increasingly intense.

"How do you think it would be if I changed my major?"

The moment the words left her lips, not only was Song Chenyi stunned, but Luo Yixia herself was dumbfounded as well.

How on earth had she managed to say that so effortlessly?

After a long pause, she heard Song Chenyi's voice: "Did what happened this time affect you and put pressure on you? But I think you did remarkably well. You're only a sophomore; you can do even better in the future."