Chapter 9: The Good-for-Nothing Joins Morning Drill
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Chai Xiao was left speechless, as if something had caught in his throat. He took several deep breaths before composing himself.
“Mother, do you think that whenever I see a beautiful woman, I want to marry her?”
Consort Yun Shufei couldn’t help but smile.
“A graceful and virtuous lady is exactly what a gentleman seeks. It’s even said in the Book of Songs—what’s shameful about that?”
Chai Xiao wanted to retort.
“Why didn’t you say that when I was teasing Heyun and Lanzhi after drinking just now?”
Of course, knowing that “intoxicated indiscretion” was his fault, he held back.
“Mother, I said Zhuque is beautiful because I fear Chai Huo’s lack of virtue!”
Consort Yun was momentarily stunned.
“You mean the second prince? You think he’d stop Zhuque?”
Before Chai Xiao could reply, she nodded firmly, affirming his judgment.
“You’re right! It’s exactly like that!”
“That lecherous second prince thought he could buy Heyun and Lanzhi for two hundred taels.”
“But you ruined that with the embroidered beauty pillows, and now he’s frustrated.”
“If Zhuque goes to deliver the message, he will definitely stop her. Seeing her beauty, he would certainly have ill intentions.”
“Zhuque’s martial skills are high, but the second prince is acting as an imperial envoy, escorted by the Yulin Guards.”
“Two against one, two against two, but three against one is hard to beat...”
By this point, Consort Yun was sweating nervously. Seeing Chai Xiao’s calm expression, she couldn’t help but sigh.
“Xiao’er, you just saved Zhuque’s life!”
Chai Xiao smiled and then shook his head.
“I never intended to let her go!”
“No matter how skilled she is, she can only deliver to one place, hoping to secure one sponsor.”
“But the courier is well-equipped, with about twenty men…”
“Yes, yes!” Consort Yun scolded playfully. “My Xiao’er is thinking more long-term and becoming more practical. Looks like the ‘good-for-nothing’ label can be taken off!”
Chai Xiao shook his head.
“I actually think this ‘good-for-nothing’ label suits me quite well!”
Then he suddenly grinned foolishly, looking up at the crescent moon in the sky.
“I’m a heavenly dog! I’ve swallowed the moon!”
Consort Yun paused, then understood and raised her hand to chase after him playfully.
“You useless good-for-nothing, trying to be a heavenly dog swallowing the moon—is it because you’re thinking of Chang’e up there? Let me beat you till you can’t run!”
Not far behind them, Zhuque stood silently, holding a thick robe, murmuring to herself.
“He... actually saved me?”
...
Inside the second prince’s tent.
This Eighth Bead Prince, yawning continuously, couldn’t fall asleep no matter what.
“Damn it! Letting a good-for-nothing cause such a mess?”
He let out a long sigh.
The attendant beside him was startled and moved closer.
Her words were as soft as feathers floating over Mirror Lake.
But her breath was like the fiery heat that could melt rock in Flaming Mountain.
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“My lord, who is troubling you so much? Is her surname Grass? Which family’s lady?”
“Haha!”
The second prince laughed heartily.
“Yes! Her surname is Grass, and her name is Good-for-Nothing. Know her?”
“Since she’s a good-for-nothing, what use is that? I’ve got some fragrant meat buns here—want to try?”
For some reason, images of Heyun and Lanzhi flashed before the prince’s mind. Excitedly, he opened his arms and embraced the attendant.
“Of course I want to try! Let’s see what flavor they have—orchid or lotus seed?”
The attendant gasped.
“My lord! Please be gentle! Your body is…”
The prince growled.
“What’s wrong with my body? It’s fine! Go get the silk pouch behind the tent; there’s a bottle of pills inside. Give me one—no, two!”
The attendant complied, lighting the candle with a fire stick and carrying the silk pouch to retrieve the pill bottle.
“Clop! Clop! Clop!”
Not far outside the tent, the sound of urgent hoofbeats rang out again.
Startled, the attendant dropped the silk pouch.
“Why are horses running so fast at this hour? It’s been several rounds already.”
The prince hurried over, tore open the silk pouch, opened a pill bottle, and poured the remaining pills into his mouth.
“What’s wrong with horse riding? You know, this good-for-nothing sent me money and even the crown of the crown prince!”
“Come on! Let’s see what these meat buns taste like! I want to ride horses too!”
...
At the Duke of Daxu’s residence.
Consort Yun Shufei donned the thick robe Zhuque had brought, watching her son fall asleep before leaving.
This was the first time since his transmigration that Chai Xiao had truly slept.
Before she left, she quietly gave some instructions to Heyun and Lanzhi.
Though Chai Xiao didn’t catch every word, he grasped the gist.
It meant that the monarch had been reckless before but had since reformed.
As long as things weren’t too extreme, don’t make too much trouble for him.
After all, he was already the King of Daxu, with a heart for the world, about to save the disaster victims of Taizhou.
Mother!
Weren’t you supposed to still think of me as a good-for-nothing?
And can you please not raise your expectations so quickly?
The two young women nodded repeatedly.
They were deeply grateful to the monarch for not selling them to the second prince for two hundred taels—truly a life-saving favor.
Zhuque, who stayed nearby, echoed their gratitude.
He longed to open his eyes and see the expression on his mother’s face at that moment.
But obviously, he couldn’t.
Falling asleep amid the sincere gratitude of the three was quite nice!
Unlike the second prince outside the city gates, who had struggled with pills and fallen into a deep slumber, Chai Xiao slept soundly.
When he woke the next morning, the sun was shining brightly.
With Heyun and Lanzhi attending to him, Chai Xiao washed his face, rinsed his mouth, and stepped outside.
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Zhang Bao was already waiting outside the door, hands folded.
“Your Majesty is up so early today!”
“Is that so? Isn’t early good?”
“Of course it’s good! Your Majesty, please this way! Have your breakfast in the side hall first!”
“No need yet! Is there a place to do morning exercise?”
“Morning exercise?”
Zhang Bao was stunned, like a child seeing a monster running out from the deep mountains—utterly incredulous.
He had served this good-for-nothing Ninth Prince for over ten years, and all he’d ever seen was eating, playing, and sleeping.
While others studied, he bit into watermelons voraciously.
He’d throw the rinds at teachers or classmates’ feet, then laugh loudly if anyone slipped.
While others practiced martial arts, he played with dogtail grass, amusing the ants.
He even lined them up, counting from one to a hundred, restarting when he got confused.
Getting up in the morning always meant rushing to breakfast, indulging in a feast with abundant variety and quantity.
Without exaggeration, he could eat half an elephant’s worth of food.
But he had never heard or seen him want to do morning exercise!
“Yes! Morning exercise! Physical activity!”
Chai Xiao moved his hands, mimicking running.
To be clearer, he made the starting pose of the “White Crane Spreads Its Wings.”
Zhang Bao still couldn’t believe it.
“Your Majesty, do you want to sweat it out? Did you drink too much last night? I’ll bring you some sobering soup!”
Chai Xiao waved him off.
“No need! Last night’s wine was good, no hangover. I do want to sweat; look at this belly!”
He pinched the rolls of fat on his stomach hard.
No wonder the Ninth Prince was called a “good-for-nothing” by everyone!
With that big, potbellied gut, what’s the difference from a fat pig that can barely move from overeating?
Zhang Bao struggled to suppress his astonishment.
“Your Majesty, you mean the training ground! This way, please!”
“Let’s go!”
Taking long strides, Chai Xiao warmed up with chest expansions and other stretches.
“Oh, and get me two sandbags—like the kind you strap to your calves to add weight!”
“Yes!”
Zhang Bao gave the orders.
Soon, with sandbags strapped to his legs, moving clumsily as if his limbs didn’t belong to him, Chai Xiao began running laps on the training ground.
Zhang Bao, Heyun, and Lanzhi watched, mouths agape—wanting to laugh but afraid to.
“Chief Zhang, what’s His Majesty doing?”
“How should I know! Not just you, even I’ve never seen this—like a young bride on her wedding day, it’s a first!”
“Is the sun today not rising from the west or something?”