Chapter Nineteen: It Has Always Been Me Who Felt Insecure

The small kitchen in the apartment suite was reasonably spacious. Even with two people standing inside, it did not feel crowded. Lu Zheng leaned against the side of the counter, watching the woman who kept her head down as she washed her hands. Her thin back was held perfectly straight; it was clear she was deeply guarded against his presence.

After washing her hands, the woman picked up some leafy greens from the side and began to wash them. With her eyes lowered, she focused on the leaves in her hands, cleaning them meticulously. Her slender, delicate fingers looked like green onions. It was ironic that someone so soft on the outside possessed the most impenetrable walls within.

Gu Yao in her youth had been vibrant, beautiful, clever, quick-witted, and a top student. Over those three years, it had been no easy feat to consistently rank in the top five while competing against peers with far superior educational resources. Students at elite schools, though arrogant, were raised on an ethos of meritocracy where they respected the strong. Thus, even with her humble background, the high-achieving Gu Yao commanded the respect and admiration of those proud youths. Of course, among hundreds of students, there were always a few dim-witted ones, but the confident and proud Gu Yao of that time never bothered to acknowledge those unpleasant gazes.

For those born with pride and self-assurance, it is not easy for one’s confidence to be crushed. That is, unless the mockery comes from the person one loves and trusts the most. In this regard, they were actually the same. Back then, however, Gu Yao cared about him—cared more about him than she did about Qi Hehe. As Lou Yu had said, the current state of affairs was truly his own fault.

A tightness gripped his chest. Lu Zheng lowered his head, his fingers instinctively reaching for his trouser pocket. But the moment he touched his cigarette case, his gaze swept over the woman’s back, and he stopped abruptly. Clenching his jaw, he let out a heavy, ragged breath.

After preparing the shrimp heads, Gu Yao heated oil in the pan. She knew what kind of noodles Lu Zheng wanted. Back in high school, there was a period when Lu Zheng would always come home very late. Around midnight, when the household chefs had finished their shifts, he would feel awkward calling them, so he would text Gu Yao to come out and cook him noodle soup. In truth, what Gu Yao cooked could never compare to the culinary skills of the Lu family’s professional chefs, yet Lu Zheng was always so supportive, eating every last drop. Back then, Gu Yao had thought that Lu Zheng really liked her cooking, and perhaps that meant she was special to him. It was only later that she realized he simply liked noodles, and the ingredients available in the Lu family kitchen were top-tier—it would have been difficult to make them taste bad. Later, when she bought her own ingredients at school to make the same dish, the taste was clearly inferior, which only confirmed how ridiculous she had been.

The shrimp heads quickly released their oil in the small pot. Seeing it was ready, Gu Yao added hot water, covered the pot, and let it boil slowly before removing the heads. She seasoned the broth with salt and a dash of soy sauce, added the noodles, and watched silently as the soup began to boil again. Just before it was done, she added the peeled shrimp and greens. A few minutes later, the noodles were ready, topped with a sprinkle of scallions.

The bowl was quite large; as she carried it to the coffee table, it made a heavy *thud*. She handed the chopsticks to the man sitting on the sofa and said in a flat tone, "Eat and leave. My mother will be home soon."

Lu Zheng looked up at her, silent for a long time. Just as Gu Yao thought he might renege, he reached out and took the chopsticks. The man ate with an unexpected speed, yet he maintained an air of elegance and composure. The large bowl of noodles was soon empty, and Lu Zheng set the chopsticks down.

Gu Yao grew tense again. Watching him, she couldn't help but urge, "Are you finished?"

Lu Zheng understood her intent perfectly. As he wiped his mouth slowly with a napkin, he ignored her question and instead said, "Gu Yao, don't push me too far away."

Gu Yao froze, staring at him. In his long, narrow eyes, a light flickered; his ink-black pupils seemed to envelop her entirely, leaving no room for escape. She frowned nervously. "What do you mean? You just said you'd leave when you were done!"

Lu Zheng tossed the napkin into the trash, leaned back against the sofa, and looked at her. His neck muscles tightened, and his expression turned increasingly obsessive. "I don't intend to break my word. But just because I am leaving now does not mean I am giving up. I didn't give up for seven years; I certainly won't now."

He stood up and took two steps toward her. Gu Yao started and immediately rose to her feet. Lu Zheng stopped, his gaze flickering as it rested on her face, tinged with a hint of gloom. "I will give you time to adjust, but before that, I want you to know: it is true that I love you, it is true that I want to be with you, and it is also true that I never looked down on you back then."

"I won't make excuses for what happened. I apologize to you for that."

"Also, the truth is, the one who has always felt inferior in your presence is me."

Gu Yao was completely stunned—stunned by the earnestness in his eyes and even more by his words. What did he mean by "the one who has always felt inferior is me"? He was a young master who had everything, raised from birth with adulation and praise, born with a silver spoon in his mouth. What could he possibly feel inferior about?

But Lu Zheng didn't give Gu Yao the chance to ask. He suddenly smiled at her, his brow twitching as the domineering aura of the business mogul began to return. Under her dazed gaze, he spoke. "Sorry for frightening you today, but I hope you will get used to it soon. And I hope you will seriously consider my pursuit of you."

Gu Yao was stunned once more. By the time she regained her senses, the man had already pulled open the door and vanished. As he left, the room seemed to turn cold instantly. Gu Yao stood there for a long time, her head buzzing. The impact Lu Zheng had made on her tonight was truly immense.

She looked down at the large bowl on the table; the murky broth still emitted a faint wisp of heat, as if to prove that everything that had just happened was real. Gu Yao collapsed onto the sofa, slumping against the armrest, her gaze drifting vacantly.

It was a long time later, when she heard the sound of the door lock turning, that she finally regained her reason. She had been affected by that past event far too deeply. So much so that now, just because Lu Zheng told her he hadn't looked down on her and offered an apology, the resentment and bitterness in her heart had loosened.

But in truth, the problem was never about being looked down upon. She had already realized that she, Lu Zheng, Qi Hehe, and Liu Yuan belonged to entirely different social circles. She lacked the confidence that her own hard work would one day allow her to stand at the same height as them. One cannot force their way into a circle, and those in a lower position always end up at the mercy of others.

Even if she agreed to be with Lu Zheng, what then? It would only lead people to say she had climbed the social ladder by relying on him. Before, it was the Lu family; now, it would be Lu Zheng. She had spent so many years trying to shed the "Lu family" label—how could she possibly choose to wear it again?